Author Archive
Can someone give me directions to grad school?
Posted by Benjamin Geiger in Education, Personal on November 25th, 2009
I wish I could just drop a class
Or get into a play
Or change my major
Or fuck my T.A.
I need an academic advisor to point the way
– “I Wish I Could Go Back to College”, Avenue Q
When I graduated from USF, I decided to take a year or two to get out into the real world before I started on my Master’s degree. That was 2006. There are now about five weeks remaining in 2009. That means three and a half years have passed since I graduated. I’ve been working at my current job for two of those years. I’ve seen the real world. I don’t like it.
Now I’m considering what I really want to do with my life. What I want to do is teach; to be specific, I want to be a professor. Professorship requires a graduate degree, preferably a doctorate. So I’ve made up my mind: I’m going to work toward entering grad school.
But I have no idea what to do next.
I know I need to take the GRE. That’s first on my list. I’m also going to speak to a graduate admissions counselor at USF; they should be able to tell me what else to do. I also need to figure out the financial end of things. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep working where I work while going to school in Tampa. If I can get a job on campus, that would be ideal.
Regarding housing: north Lakeland may be my best bet. It’s a straight shot down I-4 to USF, and rent on apartments isn’t ridiculously high, but it’s still 30-40 miles each way. Granted, that’s better than the 70 each way I was doing when going to USF before, but that’s still quite a drive.
I need advice.
Pick-up (bullshit) artists.
Posted by Benjamin Geiger in Personal on August 12th, 2009
(Based on a comment I made at Pandagon.)
A discussion between Gabe and Tycho over at Penny Arcade has sparked responses across the interwebs.
As the epitome of what the PUA-types would call an “AFC“, I almost fell for the PUA nonsense. Eventually I realized that I absolutely loathe 99.9% of the PUA stuff out there. Most of it seems to boil down to “Chicks dig assholes, so here’s how you become an asshole”.
I don’t want to be an asshole. My stepdad was an asshole. I grew up seeing what being an asshole does to a person, to a relationship, to a family. And my conscience won’t allow it. While my rational mind keeps saying that PUA stuff makes sense, and may even be effective (the jury’s still out on that), my conscience screams, “Try it and I shut you down.” (PUA types call that being an AFC. My psychiatrist calls it severe social anxiety.)
However, it’s unwise to tar every self-help resource for shy men with the same brush as the mass-market PUA stuff. There are “PUA” resources that don’t teach guys to be manipulative dickheads. I’ve been listening to an audiobook called Overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome, by Ron Louis and David Copeland. It could be described loosely as a PUA system, but it doesn’t seem to have the “hunting” mentality. Neither does it promise to let you sleep with any woman. In fact, much of the advice deals with giving the woman you’re flirting with opportunities to express her lack of interest or bow out gracefully.
In other words, it appears to be genuinely about giving guys like me the confidence to do what normal guys, the “good guys”, do naturally.
I really hope I’m not wrong about this.
On offense.
Posted by Benjamin Geiger in Activism, Personal, Work on June 27th, 2009
As I wrote earlier, I had this sticker on my laptop:
Had. Past tense. The reasons for its removal are two.
My supervisor was the first to object, basically handing down the edict that I wouldn’t be allowed to bring the laptop (on which I do 99% of my work) to any meetings if the sticker remained. Considering at least two of my coworkers are religion-soaked god-botherers who don’t hesitate to share their religious views with any who will tolerate them, this seemed, if you’ll accept a mild understatement, extremely hypocritical. The hypocrisy is all the more obnoxious when you realize that I work for a government agency, theoretically under the restrictions of the First (and Fourteenth) Amendment.
The sticker itself was printed on Office Depot bumper sticker paper, which is easily peeled off and repositioned. So I ‘repositioned’ it from the laptop to the wall of my office. This was generally considered acceptable; they apparently don’t mind me holding my beliefs (or lack thereof), only being uppity enough to remind the Christaliban that there are people who disagree with them.
But that’s not why I took it entirely down.
One of my coworkers (and a friend I knew before I started working there) is a devout Muslim. He pointed out that the sticker was, in his eyes and the eyes of those attending his mosque, an endorsement of hatred. And after reflecting on it a bit, I realized I agreed with him. Some small-minded xenophobes could take that as an attack, not on religion in general, but specifically on Islam… and specifically endorsing violence. That’s not the message I want to send.
I’m not ’shying away’ from criticizing Islam because I agree with it, and not because I somehow think it’s ‘better’ than Christianity or Judaism or Buddhism or Hinduism. I most certainly don’t. Islam is the religion most easily corrupted into fundamentalism and hatred, and it easily ranks among the worst in terms of widespread abuse. And I certainly didn’t take it down due to fear of a fatwa death sentence. I took down the sticker because Muslims in the US are already suffering persecution (and I mean honest persecution, not the “waaah, someone said something mean about us” sense that many Christians profess), and the last thing I want to do is give the right-wing mouth-breathing god-wallopers another excuse to commit violence against the innocent.
WWII Posters and Modern Patriotism.
Posted by Benjamin Geiger in Activism on June 15th, 2009
One of the members of my Toastmasters club forwarded an email to me today. It was a collection of posters from WWII, with some commentary. I felt obliged to respond.
Most of the posters you sent are honorable, and many apply even today, but this one is particularly dishonest:
Here are some quotes by someone you might recognize. Care to guess who?
“I am now as before a Catholic and will always remain so.”
“My feeling as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded only by a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and who, God’s truth! was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. How terrific was his fight against the Jewish poison.”
“Secular schools can never be tolerated because such schools have no religious instruction, and a general moral instruction without a religious foundation is built on air; consequently, all character training and religion must be derived from faith.”
“I believe today that I am acting in the sense of the Almighty Creator. By warding off the Jews I am fighting for the Lords work.”
“We are a people of different faiths, but we are one. Which faith conquers the other is not the question; rather, the question is whether Christianity stands or falls…. We tolerate no one in our ranks who attacks the ideas of Christianity… in fact our movement is Christian. We are filled with a desire for Catholics and Protestants to discover one another in the deep distress of our own people. ”
“We were convinced that the people needs and requires this faith. We have therefore undertaken the fight against the atheistic movement, and that not merely with a few theoretical declarations: we have stamped it out.”
Here’s a hint: he was an angry Austrian with a tiny mustache and a Sanskrit symbol for a logo.
I guess we are the last generation to see, or even remember anything like these. Whatever happened? Political correctness (or “re-education”) happened, lack of God’s name happened, lack of personal responsibility happened, lack of personal integrity and honesty happened, lack of respect and loyalty to our country happened, lack of being an American happened.
I can understand, and almost agree with, the original author’s sentiment, but not his/her specific statements. “Political correctness” and lack of religion aren’t responsible for what has happened. In fact, political correctness lets us understand how the world actually works, and lack of religion makes us less likely to wage war needlessly. What many see as “political correctness” is merely seeing your fellow human being as a human being, and not some pawn in a giant meaningless game.
Loyalty isn’t the same as obsequity. Loyalty is speaking up when your loved one is doing wrong. Loyalty is recognizing both the greatness and the faults in the one you’re loyal to. If you’re loyal to your country, you don’t sit idly by while the corrupt grow rich off the sacrifices of the many; you stand up and let your leaders know that you disapprove.
What’s more, there are things in the world more important than one’s country to be loyal to. First and foremost, we must be loyal to the human race. As a Christian, you should be familiar with this:
Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. (Matthew 25:37-40)
When your leaders claim that your loyalty to your country demands betrayal of the human race, are you truly honoring your country?
Bumper Sticker Activism.
Posted by Benjamin Geiger in Activism, Personal on June 15th, 2009
It was time to decorate my laptop; it has its share of scratches and dents, and I could personalize. So, I tried to find bumper stickers that worked well. Problem: not many work well. Most of the time, my positions are too nuanced to fit in a dozen words or less.
The “Atheist Bus” campaign was a reasonable start. I didn’t want to use their slogan, but I wanted to show solidarity through similar design. So, I found the font they used: “Dirty Headline“. In finding it, I found what is probably the most memorable pro-science quote I’ve ever heard. Fire up Seashore, throw some colors together, add in a gratuitous Out Campaign scarlet-A logo, and voilà!
And I realized I really like the font. So, I found another idea that had been rattling around my head for a while. For this one, I had to upgrade to the Gimp because Seashore doesn’t seem to have a rainbow gradient, but I think it was worth it:
I bought some inkjet bumper sticker paper from Office Depot and printed these out… and they turned out great. I wouldn’t put them on my car, since they don’t seem particularly weatherproof, but on the computer I have no such worries. The atheism sticker is currently on my laptop; the second one isn’t yet, since I overestimated the free space on the display. (I own a MacBook Pro and don’t want to cover up the glowing status symbol.)
Feel free to download and print these; high-resolution versions of both are available. As for licensing, they’re Creative Commons Share-Alike; I can’t see putting heavy restrictions on something that only took me an hour or so to create. So, share and enjoy!
Postmortem: CocoaSIG Inaugural Meeting
Posted by Benjamin Geiger in Technology on June 10th, 2009
Tonight we held the first meeting of CocoaSIG.
What does it say about a group when even its speaker doesn’t show up? There were only two of us there: myself and one coworker (who I’ll call Ramez, since that’s his name). I thought a few more people would show up, but nobody did.
I brought the pizza; Ramez brought the soda. Neither of us remembered plates or napkins. And needless to say, I not only broke my diet, I annihilated it. I had more pizza tonight than in the last five months combined.
We ended up watching a couple of video podcasts. We watched one of the Stanford videos, followed along with the project, then experimented a bit on our own.
We learned quite a bit about Cocoa. That’s the important thing. And, crazy though it may seem, we’re not giving up. We’re gonna meet again, and I’ll keep everyone posted.
Repost: Wal-Mart Online Job Application?
Posted by Benjamin Geiger in Repost on June 2nd, 2009
Author’s Note:
This entry originally appeared on my blog on 3 November 2005. I thought it was particularly funny. What was even funnier was how many people refused to read the post and added comments asking me to send them an application… even after Wal-Mart added one.
In retrospect, I wonder how many comments, both on the original post and on mine, were examples of Poe’s Law. Some of these people seem too stupid to remember to breathe.
Wal-Mart has no online job application form for store-level work. (Update (2006-10-02): They added one.) According to IO ERROR, they do have forms for work in their data center (northern California) or management-level work, but to work in the store, you have to go in person to apply at the kiosk.
(Not that I’m encouraging anyone to work at Wal-Mart. Their record [clarification: their worker's rights record – BG] is particularly craptacular.)
Despite being repeatedly told—both in the entry and prior comments—that IO ERROR’s entry was not posted by Wal-Mart, is not on Wal-Mart’s website, and is not an application, people continued to post requests for applications as comments. Most of these requests had horrifying grammar and spelling. A few choice examples:
“charnelle benson” wrote:
i would like to put in a application in at wal-mart i have been trying to fine a now for two years and i haven’t fined one yet and its real hord trying to fine a job in like a little town called marlin evrything is all tokeing and im hopeing wal-mart is not so if you can plz send me and application i would be so greatful think you for your time Charnelle Benson age 17 [address omitted] plz e-mail me bye
Well, at least she’s polite. If she doesn’t get a job at Wal-Mart, maybe she could become a spokesperson for Hooked on Phonics… after all, “Huked on Foniks wurked fore mi!”
Oh, and one more thing… under most circumstances, when things are “all tokeing”, it’s not a good idea to admit such publically, lest the DEA or FBI be listening.
“ninos odisho” wrote:
i�m 18 m looking for job in walmart
i�m in high school 12 gread
i live in modesto california
if u have job in modesto or cears walmart
please send me application
I see his high school doesn’t have particularly high standards for English.
An attribute very common to the “please send a application kthxbye” comments is a lack of capitalization. One has to wonder whether shift keys are ritually disabled by teenagers.
“Tiesha Bryant” wrote:
I’m a 19 year old Female looing for a job from 12:30am until
Yes, that’s the whole comment. Not exactly the best way to show potential employers that one can finish what one starts, I suppose.
And here’s my favorite comment of them all:
“STEVE” wrote:
wal mart i kneed a jog pleeze. if u hav any openings in uper managment i coold do dat. im 19. email me an aplication
Maybe this is too lowly a concept for your brilliant executive mind to comprehend, but as a general rule, someone who wants a position in upper management needs to be able to spell “upper management”. In fact, being able to spell any word longer than 3 letters will help.
A basic grasp of capitalization and punctuation is generally needed as well; believe it or not, your secretary won’t take care of all of that for you. Even a fifth-grade writing level would be an improvement here. (I’ve seen the writing of some of my fellow USF students [I've since graduated – BG], and I’ll tell you that they’re not necessarily Pulitzer material, but they’re not this bad.)
Somehow I doubt a 19 year old is headed directly to the boardroom. Mailroom (or in this case, stockroom), perhaps.
Not all Wal-Mart employees are this bad; after all, they did manage to actually apply for the job. Many [actually, make that 'almost all' – BG] Wal-Mart employees are competent and interested in what they’re doing. However, there’s always that minority of morons who seem to make their presence known whenever possible. It’s clear that for some of these people, the wheel’s still spinning, but the hamster’s dead. I would venture to say that anyone who posted to IO ERROR’s entry looking for a job falls into this category. I guess it’s better that they didn’t figure it out.
Best. Blonde. Joke. Ever.
Posted by Benjamin Geiger in Uncategorized on May 28th, 2009
I had this blonde joke on my blog before. The old blog is no more, but the joke is too good not to bring back.
On the pulling-up of roots.
Posted by Benjamin Geiger in Personal, Work on May 27th, 2009
Someone I follow on Twitter bemoaned the lack of job applicants who knew about test driven development, saying that the first candidate he interviewed who knew TDD would be hired on the spot. Of course, as an incorrigible smartass, I asked whether it required actual experience with the practice.
The answer was no, and he invited me to send him a résumé.
My reaction was mixed. First was elation: holy crap, this guy actually thinks I might have a shot at working there! That was short-lived, however, as my loyalty and my anxiety simultaneously kicked in: not only would I have to quit my current job, I’d have to move about two hours away.
That’s really what I’m concerned about. I don’t particularly mind the thought of leaving my current job. It’s clear that I’m not a perfect match for my current employer. I rock the boat too much. But leaving the friends I’ve made here would be difficult. Hell, my dad lives about 45 minutes away and I only see him a couple of times per month. I can’t see driving 2 hours each way to visit Bartow, particularly with practically nothing else to lure me back. Also, with the hiring freeze in effect, it’s likely that they wouldn’t hire anybody to replace me, increasing the workload on everyone else.
The other issue is that this place feels like home now. I live in an apartment, but it’s home. Not to mention the hassle involved in moving. (I just bought a washer and dryer, for cryin’ out loud!) There’s no way I’m going to haul my furniture—in particular, my heavy-ass desks—down the stairs and into a new place by myself.
So, there’s a lot of inertia keeping me here. What’s driving me toward Ocala?
Primarily, the reason I’m considering accepting a job with the aforementioned company in Ocala if offered is simple: they seem to get it. I work for a large government agency, and even with a small department, it’s nearly impossible to change as fast as modern software development requires. Besides, I’ve met the guy who told me about the place (the one I follow on Twitter) and he seems to be someone I’d get along with. And needless to say, I could learn a lot about TDD and other agile practices, and programming in general, from him.
Just to be clear: I haven’t been offered a job yet. I haven’t interviewed for a job yet. I don’t even know if a job’s even open. But the idea is still there. And the same applies anywhere in the country; in fact, even more so, since a two-hour drive would be replaced with an airline flight. If I don’t live near either of my parents, I could just as easily live anywhere in the country. The question is whether I want to do so. And I genuinely don’t know.
